Friday, May 30, 2014

Brilliant sentences


WALT - write a VARIETY of different sentence types

Check out today's writing inspired by the snow photo taken in Lawrence. We worked really hard to add variety to our writing by writing simple, compound and complex sentences.


Wyatt - Trees are as white as they could be.  Cars are skidding out of control because it is as slippery as an ice rink.  People notice when they come out of Lawrence to Waitahuna that there is snow everywhere.

Imogen -  The trees were frosty and they look like ice statues that are frozen in the snow. All you can see on the ground is a big white blanket that spreads across the whole town. You would not want to drive on the roads because they are very slippery and you could crash you would not want to do that! The snow that is coming down is shimmering in the sun and melting on the way down. All the snow looks like pixie dust that is floating down from the sky. Kids play with the snow while parents are inside sitting by the fire in an armchair. Snow is covering the ground and the ice is getting slushier and slushier while people stomp on the icy puddles because they are exited!

William -  There are  trees  covered in snow like christmas decorations. The people can't get out of town because the road is too slippery.   
    
Arnika - Trees are sparkling in the snow like stars. Branches keep snapping off trees while gusts of wind
come flying past.Cars are skidding out  of control like they’re ice skating, so make sure you don’t crash!!

Anna - Roads were all frosty and cars were skidding out of control. The snow fell like little fairies. People are going inside and drinking hot milo. The trees are sparkling with dew drops.When you are driving you have to be careful because you will slip and slide.
Toby -  Trees, white and shimmery, look like massive ice sculptures.  Cars slip and slide, like people on an ice rink.  Tree  branches struggle to hold on because of the great weight.  Snow gently glides down like an autumn leaf. Even though the snow is heavy, the branches still hold on.  The grass is like a crispy ice-cream cone.

Aaron -The road  is slippery. Ice is covering the ground like  a blanket.  The  trees look  like jack frost has been around and painted all the trees and they look like they have diamonds on them. Big chunks off show is everywhere and people are getting stuck in the snow.  Cats and dogs are rolling in the snow and getting cold and wet.

Josie - Trees,with white pixie dust sitting on the slim branches, look pretty. Big chunks of snow sit on the side of the slushy road. People get told to not go on the road. Snow drifts to the white ground. The ice reflects from the lights. While adults struggle to get to work, kids have fun playing. Although there is lots of snow, farmers are out there getting work done.The sky,was grey as paint,no blue sky was seen. Sheep,all sitting cold,have no food to eat. Smoke drifts to the sky while people have their fires going to keep warm. Hills have white snow blankets trying to keep the grass warm.

Bryce - Snow glistened on the white trees. The road was as slippery as ice. Signs are covered with melted snow. The cars are covered with icicles. Water troughs are as hard as the center of earth. Kids, skidding side to side, are sledding while parents are inside trying to keep warm.

Lanie - The snow is everywhere. All of the trees have  lots of blankets on them .The  road  looks like it has been sprinkled on by people. Therefore there is lots of snow in the paddocks and the  signs. Lots of people are in their homes, hot and warm, but some people are on the road.

Oakley- Branches are snapping off trees and blocking  the road.The road is white as paper. Trees are bending over  the  road.

TeAroha -The snow is sprinkled everywhere.Trees are covered in white thick snow.The road is all slushy. Whenever you go outside you will get soaked feet.Big chunks of snow is everywhere and as the snow drops down the coat of snow gets bigger and bigger.White small drops of snow goes on the trees.The animals are all so cold because the snow is all where they live.

Ryan - Trees were covered in glimmering snow you could just see the outline of the statue trees. Every minute snow fell to the ground.Roads were covered in icy snow making people skid out of control.The way into Lawrence was blanketed with white snow making crashes on the highway and made traffic stop.  Although people were having fun they're still freezing cold

Alyssa - Shiny gleaming snow sat high above the ground on the tree branches, as the bright sun shone down on it.Thin sparkly ice was shining up on the branches of high trees while snow fluttered down beside it. Heavy chunks of white snow dropped to the ground snapping tree branches and making roads slippery as it fell.Snow,white and cold, collapsed onto the frozen earth. In the sky the clouds were grey and no blue was to be seen. Even though the snow was cold,children still played outside.Cars slipped and slid as the snow fell.

Isla - The trees are shimmering like diamonds all around. It looks so sparkly. The roads are very slippery. The trees are as white like  fluffy white clouds. If you wanted to drive on the road you would slip and crash. The road is as white as white. The sun is making it shimmer

Samara - The ground is covered in a thick white blanket. Although the road is covered in ice and snow, that doesn't stop the cars from going on the road.Drip, drop, drip, drop, icicles hanging from tree branches. The roads are icy. This place is like a snowy winter ground.

Alesana - Vroom goes the snow plough on the white dusty snow, sending the snow flying into the freezing, hard ground.  While the trees stand tall and  frozen, glistening in the sun that is trying to break out of the clouds, more snow glides down. Therefore you can nearly hear the cars screeching on the black ice.  Each minute the snow is getting thicker like a giant duvet.

Regan - The trees are gleaming like ice.The road looks like a stripy road.The ground looks like froth from a wave.The signs look like bird poop unless the sun comes and all the signs will be the right colours.   

Clifton - The road is covered in snow. The trees are glimmering because snow is on it.The snow is even on the sign. The snow is still going.

Charlotte - Snow was falling to the ground and it was falling on the trees. It made the trees beautiful. The road was sparkling like pixie dust falling down.Grass was as white as the clouds. You could not see the grass.The road was so quiet.

4 comments:

  1. I love, love, love these wonderful pieces of writing. I am really pleased to see some of you experimenting with complex sentences and adding them to improve your writing. As your audience, I found that your complex sentences certainly added detail to your writing and made it more interesting. Great work team, you knocked my socks off!!!! - Mrs May

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  2. Anonymous04 June, 2014

    WOW! I love Alyssa's piece of writing very good description. From Samara

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  3. Anonymous04 June, 2014

    Really like all of the stories room 4 Te Aroha,Delanie.

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  4. Anonymous18 June, 2014

    These pieces of writing are fantastic. from Bryce.

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