Descriptive Writing

We are learning to write accurate and detailed descriptions so that our audience can form a clear picture in their mind about what we are writing about. This week we have been working on choosing precise vocabulary and adding details. Below is a selection of our writing for you to enjoy. We took three simple descriptions and improved them by adding details.

 

 

"The girl had brown hair."

The girl had brown hair. It was dark brown and tied in a pony tail - Alesana

 

The girl had long, brown hair. It was curly and shiny and tied in a pony tail. It's dark chocolate hair and also frizzy and fluffy. - Arnika

The girl had dark brown hair that looked like melting chocolate which had lay in the sun for hours. She had hair that was covered in pinches of ginger. - Toby

 

The girl had brown hair. The girls hair was fluffy with a gingery/reddish tinge. It was dark chocolate brown hair which was curly and frizzy. - Isla

 

The girl has silky, chocolate brown hair with a gingery/reddish tinge and it is tied in a pony tail. - Samara

 

The girl had spongy, curly, dark chocolate brown hair. - Anna

 

The girl has brown hair. Her hair is as fuzzy as a cats tail. Her hair is dark chocolate. - Regan

 

The girl had dark chocolate brown hair with a very curly pony tail. - Te Aroha

 

The girl had curly, shiny, dark chocolate brown hair with a reddish tinge. It was tied in a pony tail. - Lanie

 

 

 

"The boy was dirty."

 

He had a scruffy t-shirt and smelt like dog pooh. He had mud on him from head to toe. His clothes were basically mud. He looked like he had been in a pigsty. He was filthy. - Bryce

 

The boy is grubby and he is gross. He is also smelly and he is as muddy as a pig. He is filthy. - Deija-Lee

 

The boy was covered in dirt that was all over him. It was like he had a stain that had spread all over his clothes. He must have been up to something because he had a mischievous grin on his face. There was mud all over his arms, legs, t-shirt, shorts and even his face. - Alyssa

 

The boy was as muddy as a person that had dived into a mud puddle. He is muddy, like he he had just hopped out of a pigsty into a mud pool. He had mud all over him; hair, clothes, arms and legs. He smelt like a rotten pear. He looked as gross as a muddy pig. - Ryan

The boy had a mischievous grin from ear to ear. It looked like he had been sticking a filthy pig. His hair, clothes, arms and legs were as grubby as gumboots. His face was as black as a burnt pizza and as smelly as a grandmas socks. - Toby

He is as muddy as a mud puddle. His clothes are muddy. He has a muddy face. - William

 

The boy had mud all over him. His t-shirt was all scruffy and wrinkled. He looked like he'd been in a muddy puddle. He was dirty all over. He looked gross and he was smelly. - Imogen

The boy was gross. He was very smelly. He had a muddy watch. His face is grubby. - Aaron

 

The boy had a wrinkled t-shirt wrapped around him. His clothes were a bit murky and smelly. His face was filthy and grubby. He had a mischievous smile. The boy was as muddy as gumboots in winter. - Josie

 



 

"The dog was brown."

 

The tiny puppy was chocolate brown with fur that was cuddly. It was in a ball, sleeping with his eyes closed. It has tiny claws, a wet shiny nose and floppy ears. He has a big chocolate brown spot on his tummy. He has soft and smooth ears.  He has tiny paws. - Lanie

 

The puppy was a new born puppy because it could fit in the palm of you hand. It had a tinge of gold on its face. He had chocolate, soft, brown fur. It also had floppy ears with teeny, tiny paws. The puppy had a wet shiny nose. It also had a little, wee spot in the middle of his tummy. It was curled in a cute wee ball, all cuddled up. It's tiny paws cant even scratch you. - Josie

 

The puppy is cute and cuddly. It is soft and smooth. The puppy has a cute, wet, shiny, black nose. It is curled up in a ball sleeping. The puppy has chocolate brown fur and a ginger tinge on its face. It has tiny claws and teeny, tiny paws. - Imogen

 

The tiny, gingery-brown puppy with a wet shiny nose had ears that hung down like an elephants. It had smooth black hair with a random spot on its tincy tummy. It's so tiny that it can fit in the palm of you hand. It's curled up in a ball, just like it's asleep. It is as cute as a kitten that is new. The puppy's paws and claws are as tiny as half a finger nail. - Ryan

 

It was a chocolate brown puppy with a ginger tinge on its face. The puppy can fit in the palm of your hand and it looked about the size of a new-born. It was curled up in a ball sleeping which made it look very cute. The wee brown puppy had a wet, shiny nose and a ginger spot on its tummy. It had one of its teeny, tiny paws up by his face, almost at its eye. You could just see its tiny camouflaged paws. - Alyssa

 

The puppy was so cute. It had floppy ears and a wet, shiny, black nose. It was curled up in a ball with teeny, tiny paws. It had a little spot on its tummy. It is so tiny that it could fit in someones hand. It has chocolate brown fur and looks so cute and cuddly. - Te Aroha

 

The puppy is cuddly. Its face is chocolate brown fur and it has floppy ears. The puppy has a wet, shiny black nose. It is curled up in a ball. It is soft and smooth and it has chocolate fur with a ginger tinge on its face. - Deija-Lee

 

The puppy was brown, just like a chocolate bar.It has teeny paws with tiny claws. It was cute and cuddly and curled up into a brown bean bag. It had a tinge of ginger on its face. - Regan

 

The dog was brown with chocolate brown fur and a ginger tinge on its face. It has long silky ears and is curled up in a ball sleeping on the palm of an adults hand. It has little tiny claws with teeny tiny paws. It has a cuddly body and a wet, shiny, black nose. It's as small as a baseball because it's a new-born. - Alesana

 

The puppy is as small as a baby bird. It's fur is ginger like a block of chocolate. It's paws are extremely tiny. It is so tiny it can fit in someones hand. It is as big as a foot and it has tiny claws. It is so smooth. - Aaron

 

The dog was brown. It has small paws. The nose is wet. The fur is fluffy. Its teeth are small.The fur is so soft. - William

 

The dog is curled up in a ball. It has a teeny, tiny face and teeny paws. It has chocolate brown fur. It fits in the palm of you hand. It is cuddly, soft and smooth. It is sleeping. It it has floppy ears. It is a new-born puppy. It has a ginger tinge on its face and a wet, shiny, black nose. - Charlotte

 

The puppy could fit in the palm of your hand. It was a chocolate brown with some ginger on it face. It had tiny claws, as tiny as ants. His ears were soft and floppy. It was curled up in a ball sleeping. It had a wet, shiny, black nose. It was very cute. - Samara

 

The dog was brown. He's soft and smooth. He has wobbly legs and big floppy ears. He is curled up in a big ball, sleeping. His chocolate brown fur is cuddly and cute. He's a small puppy with a wet nose and tiny paws. - Arnika

 

The puppy was new-born. It had chocolate brown fur. He had a little ginger spot on his tummy. He had teeny tiny paws with little sharp claws. He had tiny, cute, floppy ears and a shiny, wet nose. It is very cuddly and it's eyes are closed. It had a ginger tinge on its face. He's curled up in a ball. He's so smooth and silky. - Isla

 

The dog was brown with small tiny claws. He had a wet, shiny, black nose. He has chocolate brown fur. He is a new-born puppy. - Oakley

 

The puppy had a ginger tinge to its cute body. It has adorable ears. Its nose was like a cute little button. It's so small that it could fit in your hand. It had tincy tiny paws. It is curled up in a tiny ball. It has a tiny little spot on its belly. It's a tiny midget. It looks like a silky little ball. - Bryce

 

The puppy was sooooo cute! Its fur is as soft as a cloud. The paws and claws make me feel like a mouse. It was smooth and has really sleepy eyes. It has spots of ginger on its face and chocolate brown fur. - Anna

 

The puppy had soft, smooth, chocolaty fur. It was so cuddly that when you hold it in your palm it felt like a new born baby. Its tiny ears flopped up and down as it ran along the pavement and its little wet nose sparkled in the sunlight like a little light flicking off and on. And when it curled up into a little brown ball to sleep, its tiny claws glittered in the moonlight. - Toby