Moments in time - Recount writing

We have been learning to recount 'moments in time' that bring back strong feelings and memories for us.  Times when we have been .... excited, scared, lonely, sad, happy.  We have tried to hook the reader (that's you) with an exciting beginning.  We have been especially trying to use dialogue for effect in our writing, with better choices of word than 'said'.  Our latest writing saying is 'Put said to bed'.  Check out our latest recounts below.
PLEASE LEAVE US A COMMENT about our writing.  We would like to know that people have read our work.


5th birthday
7:00.  Up and out of bed.  "Happy birthday," exclaimed Dad.  On my 5th birthday I opened up presents like I was starving for food.  Once I had opened up all my presents I rushed to get on my new dress so that I was ready for my party to begin.  Tick tock, tick tock, waiting for my friends to arrive was boring. 

Finally I heard a car, then another, then another all pulled up the driveway.  "Happy birthday!" screamed all my friends with excitement.  After opening up all my presents Mum thought the lounge was a pigsty.  "Pinata time!"  Mum had to scream over the noise.

The pinata was fun but eventually it was cake time - a big love heart shape with M&Ms on it.  After the cake was done all my friends had to leave.  I was left thinking, 'It was a fun day'.
By Josie

Wellington alone
"Mum I'm nervous," I whimpered.
"You will be fine.  Toby is with you."
I grabbed my suitcase and I held Mum's hand so tight it nearly fell off.  My family and I were at Dunedin Airport about to go on me and Toby's first flight alone to Wellington.
We got our bags.  My teeth were chattering.  I had a dry mouth.  I could not speak.  I had never felt so nervous in my life, except the time when there was a bit power cut.  Then I heard the call for our flight.  The flight attendant said hello and took us to the plane.  I was terrified....
By Anna

Tractor tipping
Thump went the bale when Dad hit the brakes.  The bale went in the creek.  "Darn it" yelled Dad.  Rumble, rumble, crack went the earth.  The edge collapsed on the tractor.  "Wow," yelled Dad.  The tractor was on three wheels.  Luckily Dad was safe.  I had to go on my motorbike to get Duncan and his tractor to help Dad.  Duncan had to help Dad to get out.  Dad was safe at last.
By William

Rugby practising with Otago players

"Bullrush " yelled one of the boys.I thought that I would get smashed by one of the Otago rugby players. And I did. My mouth was filled with grass. I could feel the grass on the roof of my mouth. It felt  weird but I did not care.I felt hands wrapped around my waist. I got dragged to the ground and smacked my head."Another round," explained one of the Otago rugby players

"Ok," we all replied.

Blake was in. I could see his evil eyes staring at me, hands ready to tackle.

“Im in!”
By Regan

Night walk
"No talking" explained the museum guide. "We have to be quiet. This is a night walk." Then we were off. I could feel Alyssa's shoulders and Mum's hands on my back. All you could hear was the class footsteps on the ground. We were very quiet. I thought that the alarms were going to go off. The museum guide had the torch at the front of the line. We were near a room. The adults were ready and then the museum guide started the story and when she named the animals, the adults made the sound of the animals.
On the way back we went down a hallway but we did not know that three adults were under a table and when we walked they tried to foot trip us. "Arghhh" we all screamed as they grabbed our feet. After that all of the bells were ringing. It was very loud. All you could see was the darkness in the rooms. Then we had to head back to the museum learning classroom. That was the best (and scariest) camp that I have been on.
By Lanie

Queenstown pool

Kids were screaming, babies were crying, mums were shouting. I opened the door to chaos. Granny yelled “Welcome  to the Queenstown pool.”

I ran in the warm water. When I ran in the warm pool I went under the water and I got water in my mouth. Yuck, yuck.The water went up my nose.  I shouted to mum ” I have got water in my nose.” Mum whispered “Oh, no”. But after a minute I felt better. I swam to the twirly whirly. When I was going to the twirly whirly a little kid threw a bucket of cold water on my face. I couldn't see who it was because I had water in my eyes. I yelled to him, then he hid but I found him. It was Oscar, little ratbag Oscar.
By Charlotte

Kayaking
Wind blowing, sun in the sky and a smile on my face. The trees were blowing, the grass was long and the frog pond was calm. Can  you guess where I was?  Yes that's right - at Gabriels Gully. Adam and I were on the kayaks. Adam was in the front  and I was on the back. It got a little windier. Then the wind made the kayak rock. “Don’t move or else we will tip over” yelled Adam. The wind stopped but it was still rocking as Adam slowly crept to the front. The kayak tipped over and we all got wet .Over came our dog Jack and we patted him .Although we had got really wet we still had lots and lots of fun.  I wish it went on forever.
By Te Aroha

Wellington
Mum yelled "We are taking off." The plane roared down the runway. My ears were blocked. "The sky is red" I yelled. I played my iPad. I got on Google and looked at truck images. That made the time go really fast. An hour later we landed. We went on the new plane so it only took an hour. It was windy at Wellington when we landed. We didn't have an air bridge so we walked outside and it was incredibly windy. I was pleased to get inside. We got Nana's bag and then we got picked up.
By Oakley

Night walk

Pitch black, crying, screaming.  Almost everyone was scared.  “No talking or the alarms will go off,” whispered Hannah the museum lady.  

The class slowly started silently walking in to the dark room, lined up in a train, where each person held onto the person in front’s shoulders.  We walked further into where bells started ringing and every time a bell rung, one of the Dads would reach out from under the table and grab your legs.  After I had been grabbed about three times I started to walk beside the rails.  I couldn’t just feel the hands of all the dads but some of them I could also see.  In front of me was Mum.  I couldn’t quite walk holding onto her shoulders so instead I held onto her waist.

Once we got out of the room where we were being foot-tripped, we went into the room where the lions were (Sonia and Sultan).  Hannah told a scary story about lions, monkeys and tigers while the Dads made noises that sounded exactly like the animal they were trying to be. As she told the story I got a little bit scared but didn’t cry at all. I sat on the mat listening to the story while people began to get scarder. I felt like going over to sit by Mum but she was on a seat by the rails not by me.

‘Yah I can see again’ I thought when the lights flickered on.
By Alyssa

Splash Palace
"Go!" shouted Jason and we went under the water.  We raced across the water at Splash Palace.  We weren't allowed to put our head up and I couldn't breathe but I could handle it.  When we were finished we went in to the spa pool and we got wrinkly hands.  The bubbles jumped up and down.  I went on the bubbles and I was going up and down, but it felt nice.  We hopped out of the spa pool.  We went on some boards and Mrs May pushed me into the deep end.  I thought I would fall off but I didn't because Mrs May was by me.  I said to Mrs May, "Can I go to the shallow end?" and she whispered "OK."  
Off I went and then I was free to walk again.  Then I played with my friends and we played under water games and stuff.  So we made a circle for a game.  One person has to try and get out of the circle.
By Clifton

My first hunt

BANG, my hopeful eyes stared in amazement at the hare. The smoke from the 22 wafted up my nostrils. The hay from the hay bale itched against my arms and grass tickled against my legs. I was losing my grip on the trigger, "Did I kill it?" I asked Tavi with a determined and pale face... "Yes!" Tavi responded. My face lit up like water in the sunlight and a sideways crescent moon beamed. Then out the corner of Tavi's eye a hare sprints across the field! Tavi snatches the 22 from my grasp and lines the  hare up with the gun... BANG, BANG, BANG the hare flees into an armoured, spiked gorse and falls like a bomb from a fighter jet and then, when it hit the ground it was still like a crooked gravestone! When we reached the carcass the frozen body was sinking in a lake of blood. The eye of the hare stared, not blinking. The mouth was open and saliva was dripping from it's tongue. My heart pumped valiantly and felt like it was pushing it's way out if of me. It was a one of the most creepy, awesome, exciting moments of my life, one I'll never forget.

By Toby

Airport trip
"Go" shouted Dad.  Little kids were off everywhere on the treasure hunt.  We were running down the escalators at the airport.  But we were on the up one.  Crash, bang, thud ...
I opened my eyes.  Dad laughed "You dufis."
I hopped up.  I was fine.  So we went to the screen and wrote as much as we could.  Then we were off to the next thing.  It was the international room.  The guide lady opened the door.  It was absolutely dark...  Then the lights came on.  I was relieved.
By Aaron

My scariest moment

I could see my strawberry roan pony named Petal standing in front of me.I could feel my heart pumping inside me. I started to shake. Then Mum mentioned to me "Don't be scared". But that didn't stop me from shaking. Then I finally asked Mum if she could help me to get up onto Petal. My heart stopped beating for two seconds then it started up again. Am I going to fall off? Am I going to break a bone? I don't know. I started to have a little walk on Petal with Mum holding the reins. I was starting to get used to the walk ,then Mum asked,"Do you want to have a trot?"

I replied", No way!"

"Are you sure?"Mum said respectfully. After I had made my mind up I mumbled "Ok". Then mum revealed "Off we go then"....

By Bryce

Night walk
We're getting into our line and we're still in the light. No, we're in the dark. Jessica's crying because she's scared of the dark. Someone said "Remember we can't talk because the alarms are on." It was just the museum guide whispering.  

On the way back we thought we would just be going down the hall and into the light but we were doing something completely different... As we were marching down the hallway there was a sudden 'cling clang, cling clang'. There were bells going off and... something was grabbing our feet. What was it? Or who was it? After a few seconds I realised it was just the parents. Then my Dad grabbed my leg and soon after that another parent tried to grab my leg. It was Gerard. But I edged myself towards the rails so he couldn't get me and it worked.  

Finally the leg grabbing was over but the bells were still ringing. They didn't scare me as much now. Then it started to get lighter. The dark was beginning to fade. I could see the room at the end of the hallway. It was getting closer, closer and closer and before we knew it we were back in the lightened room, but people were still crying. That is definitely a one in a lifetime experience!
By Samara

Rugby practice
"Come on come on it's our turn," I shouted. Now let's have some fun like the others. When we ran onto the field I could see everyone running around and kicking the ball. We had a game of ball rush and I thought I was going to get smashed to the ground by an Otago rugby player. But they went easy on us because we aren't like them. We play in under 9s, under11s and under 13s. I got tackled by a very chubby boy  because I was one of the last people on the start line and they were all ganging up on me. I could feel sweat dripping down my face like if I tipped a glass of water on myself.I got tackled again but this time it was by one of the Otago players and all I could taste was grass,and dirt was on my face and I started coughing. When the practice was finished we went to the canteen beside the rugby field and bought some chips.IT WAS AWESOME!!!!!
By Ryan